Every year I celebrate an anniversary. Sometimes these anniversaries are significant; other times they are just random. These anniversaries typically mark some sort of achievement or milestone I have accomplished in my life. I know this sounds pretty vague and rather obvious, but even the slowest of wits can claim an anniversary in one form or another.
I am speaking more specifically of my momentous graduation from college; and by momentous, I, of course, mean: not completely thought through. College and university studies are often referred to as “higher learning” which, simply translated, means: spend as much time here as possible as a way to put off the murkiness of grown-up life. And by grown up life, I am refering to the reality of waking up every morning to a job your degree has absolutely nothing to do with.
Isn’t it good to know it was all for something.
I don’t want to sound completely cynical about post-graduation life, but doesn’t it seem odd that students come and go but professors are the only ones who seem to hang around? It’s probably because they are the only ones smart enough to have figured out that staying in school is the best way to avoid having to move back in with the parents or live where a high-speed connection isn’t free. In fact, not only are they living the carefree college life, but they have made a paying career out of it.
I don’t know what it is about careers and jobs that make them, well…jobs. The problem is that, even if you are lucky enough to be doing what you always dreamed of doing, somehow reality strikes on your already bruised skull and that once golden career turns out to be plain and boring work. You may even start to wonder if that fantasy of a perfect job is a reality waiting to be discovered. It’s for this reason that I began brainstorming formulas to find the career options that, I feel, would hold their value and be a pleasure to wake up to every morning.
First, you have to think of the things you enjoy doing the most. My first thought was swimming, and to be more specific: relaxing by the pool. The problem with this is my options are limited to lifeguard or pool boy. The first entails the taxing responsibility of being vigilant and possibly having to save someone. While the idea of resuscitating some hot babe doesn’t sound all that bad of a responsibility, the likelihood of it being a hairy, obese, sea lion of a man that decided to ingest his complete lunch plate in one bite is far greater —and that grosses me out. The later involves work, which is what I am trying to avoid. So obviously that won’t work, but I’m on the right track. I also like going on vacation. So why not make vacation a career?
Every year corporate allotted vacation days go unused in our workaholic society, and every year these poor, forgotten vacation days become void and unusable as the accruing begins anew in January. So, my simple solution would be to start a firm that specializes in making use of people’s unused vacation days. For a moderate but realistic price, I would be happy to take a cutthroat work-addict’s forgotten vacation days off their hands and use them at my discretion. For a small additional fee, I’d even in send a postcard to the person’s family, friends, co-workers, and boss stating how great it has been to get away and enjoy some time away from the office.
Who knows, a year from now I could be celebrating the one year anniversary of putting this job into effect. Maybe, I’ll celebrate by going on vacation somewhere nice.
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