SUPER POWERED

Superman had all the powers one yellow sun could bestow upon an individual. They included flight, speed, laser beam/x-ray eyes, and incredible strength that was advertised as stronger than steel —possibly even tungsten; but who knows, he was born in 1932, after all. All these attributes were sure to guarantee his financial freedom and pick of the ladies. However, he lived a lonely life, consumed by an alter ego and secrets he felt compelled to keep.

Batman’s super power was a bottomless wallet —an attribute many would love to share. Basically, he was the mortal equivalent of Superman, except with a lady on each arm.






Whether he liked it or not, Edward had scissor hands. I wouldn’t call it a super power, by any means, but I might say unique. And even though his career options were extremely limited because of this seemingly unlikely biological happenstance, he made the best of his situation.





He-Man was the mild mannered Prince Adam of Eternia one moment, and the hyper-buff He-Man the next. His power was straight forward; he was the strongest man in the universe. However, his stamina was suspect. He was also quite fast and fairly acrobatic, but this was hardly showcased due to budget restraints.


The X-MEN were mutants, just like the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles…only, the turtles were a quartet of dudes who fell in some radioactive fluid at the exact same time an equal number of turtles fell in. Somehow they magically morphed together and were raised by an Asian martial arts instructor that, coincidentally, shared their same fate —except as a large rat. Their super powers included the ability to eat entire pizzas with a combination of toppings that would make any non-mutant turtle throw-up a little in their mouth.

Rocky Balboa’s super power was the ability to stay in the ring for dozens of rounds with an opponent twice his size; never block one punch —which resulted in a face that looked like a severely bruised plum— and still have the energy and heroic determination to win in the end.





Mario and Luigi were not super heroes at all, yet they are often referred to as “Super Brothers”. Fraternal love and saving a stranded princess does not equal super power, nor does smashing bricks with your head and jumping on mushrooms. I'm sorry, but your super hero status must be in another castle.



What in the world is a Green Lantern?

Captain Planet and the Planeteers were known for wielding elemental rings and taking the form of earth, wind, fire, and so on. If saving the world didn’t work out well for them, it was good to know they had a successful music career to fall back on —ba-dum-ching!




Spiderman was a spider, the Punisher punished, and the Kool-aid man could burst through brick walls without spilling one drop —OH YEAH.

The beloved Harry Potter was an emotional wreck, but who could blame him…his parents died when he was little —back off. Even though he struggled with spells, was a mediocre student at best, and had the worst communication skills of any adolescent wizard at Hogwarts, he did inherit a cool cloak.



So, even though there are many super powers that would be quite tempting to possess, I suppose if I had to pick one, I would choose the Scott Bacula Quantum Leap ability... without the having to solve people’s personal issues bit. It would just be fun to cause a scene at someone else’s expense. It might also be just as cool to be Scott Bacula.

Post a comment saying what super power you would choose?